“Do not chase what is trending. Chase what is timeless.” – Anonymous
When the noise gets too loud, cover your ears with both hands—and keep moving.
In my short time on this earth, one truth has become increasingly clear: everything—people, fashion, trends, influence, and even power—has an expiry date. Eventually, everything melts away. Chasing what’s popular now may create fleeting thrill but rarely provides enduring peace or meaning.
Far too many people in this day and age feel obliged to look a certain way, live in a specific way, or be successful on the world’s schedule. One area where this pressure manifests itself in painful ways is how society, and especially men, look at women after pregnancy.
I once had a discussion with a female friend who brought to my attention an unspoken conflict that many young mothers go through. She explained how many women find it difficult to deal with depression after pregnancy—not even because of hormonal fluctuations or the woes of new motherhood but also because of how their bodies change and how they are viewed later on.
Unfortunately, many men are not taught to understand or appreciate this transformation. Some even become less intimate or proud of their wives simply because they no longer look the same since they gave birth. This attitude is not fair and highly destructive.
That is why I always tell men: do not look for outward physical beauty when selecting a mate. Look for the characteristics that will last—kindness, character, emotional intelligence, and hardiness. These are the things that will maintain your love and regard for your partner even when time changes external beauty.
If you take this approach—one of loving what is enduring rather than what is contemporary—you’ll no longer need to compare your life with someone else’s. You’ll begin to cultivate a type of joy that has nothing to do with external validation or physical beauty but with inner calm and a gentle feeling of contentment.
Too many never get to experience this joy. Some are the result of a culture that measured success in shallow ways. But you don’t have to be held back by circumstances. I came up in an environment where not having the new fashion or falling short was not a gauge of inferiority—it was stimulus. Motivation to stay focused. To stay committed to the path we believed in.
What you lack today doesn’t mean you’re disqualified from a better tomorrow. With determination, integrity, and consistent effort, you can shape a future that reflects your deepest values—not the world’s fleeting expectations.
Five Quick Takeaways
1. Everything passes away. Stand on things that last, not trends that die.
2. Inner peace is more valuable than outer admiration. Inner peace lasts longer than exterior praise.
3. Your past can shape you, but it doesn’t have to define you. You can rise above your limitations.
4. Lack should not pressure you—it should fuel your focus. Use your challenges as fuel for growth.
5. With time, effort, and integrity, your breakthrough will come. Be patient. Stay consistent.
In a world that’s so concerned with appearance and with things happening quickly, go the slower, deeper route. When the noise gets too deafening, remember: you were never meant to be lost in the noise—you were born to forge your way with clarity and conviction.
* Chinedu Vincent Okoro is a Rotarian, educator, poet and advocate for social change and mental health. He writes from Abuja, Nigeria.
